Where did you come from?
Where are you going?
I’m sure you come from some place I don’t know, going some place I can’t follow.
I…don’t think I have that much longer to live. In my university laboratory, I dedicated myself to the study of botanical genetics. While in the midst of my studies, I fell ill and suffered a high fever that attacked my nervous system. The culprit was a bacterium attached to a mushroom I used in the lab. When the bacterium enters the body, it causes a high fever that can lead to long-term damage. By the time I realized the dangers of the bacterium, it was too late. I was already infected.
My illness did not take my life. Though there were aftereffects, they were light, and, thankfully, I survived. Although I am now physically healthy, I am left with deep emotional scars. I have realized an unforgivable sin I committed in the past.
There was a girl from my childhood who I used to talk about dreams with. My dream was to become a botanist and engineer a flower with a color like the world had never seen before. She aspired to become a prima ballerina and grace the stage before millions. But she came down with a terrible fever that attacked her nervous system. Looking back on it now, the cause behind it was the bacterium on the Moonlight Mushrooms I had on me at the time.
I cared for her deeply. I wanted her dream to come true, but while I immersed myself in my botanical studies to make her stage of flowers a reality, I lost track of what was important. Without her, my dream had no point. By the time I realized it, it was too late. My naive and self-centered actions took away not only her dreams, but also took her away from me.
Tormented by guilt and despair, I tried to kill the pain with alcohol. Before I knew it, I was failing my lab courses. I couldn’t show my face at home. Being stripped of all else, I only had my research to live for. I killed off my emotions, and completely devoted myself to my studies.
All I leave behind is this letter and a potted plant. It was the fruit of my many years of research. If you have a moment, would you please look at it?
If you happen to be reading this in the light of day, it probably looks like a snow white flower. If it’s night, the petals are probably glowing blue and shedding light around them, like a lantern would. But if it’s crimson dusk, I imagine it’s letting off a warm light, like that of a flickering candle.
What color flower is it now…?
