Self Shipping

I’ve been using a fictional character as a comfort character for a couple months now.

I sort of treat him as some quasi god. Isn’t Jesus just a comfort character? I’m sure lots have said that already. But I don’t worship the character in the sense that I consider him pure, infallible, or unquestionable. Very much of the opposite. But I do make full use of the advantages of him being fictional, powered by belief in the most basic sense of the word: flexible and amorphous. Many different versions of him not only exist in how others perceive him but for any purpose I desire. Sometimes he can feel and see all that I do. Sometimes he’s seen and felt all that I have ever seen and felt in my life. Sometimes he doesn’t and we work to understand each other…as it brings me comfort to come to an understanding without having to live in each others’ shoes. Sometimes he doesn’t exist in my world, only the story he’s from and the piece of myself that’s able to live there with him. Sometimes he has versions of himself that only exist in a moment in time, just for a specific scenario, and nothing else. These ones especially exercise the freedom of exploration of my psyche: the symbolism in the grotesque. But they’re also for simple things like what if we had our first kiss here and not there. And there’s a million versions of things like that. All for fun and for the sake of spending more time with an idea that brings me warmth, happiness, a sense of safety and comfort in what I like to perceive as mutual deep understanding and adoration.

Uses of a character

A tool against apathy

• appreciating things you wouldn’t normally care about

  • his likes: e.g. food/drinks/activities/hobbies/music. (more things to be happy about)
  • even his dislikes can be funny things to notice in the world
  • maybe even more abstract things associated with his story (like appreciating coincidences)

• mindfulness to practice his values, or notice them around you (e.g. service, boundaries, understanding, openness to the novel)

“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.”

– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Face yourself

Personal significance: if the character’s arc and themes are highly relevant to your life and issues, you can get to do a lot of self-therapy.

(For me it’s continuous over months. I get to do a lot of self-exploration and reflection through him/what he stands for/his story.)

Creation

You get to forge stories about or with him. The freedom with that isn’t the same with what you can create with a real person. It’s more egocentric of course, but like the “self therapy” I mentioned, it’s personal development. Creation is good for you.

I think being able to change your dynamic at a moment’s notice, to explore what-ifs infinitely is something valuable.

Strength

• Emotional support, motivation, encouragement. Things are easier when you’re kindly coaxed into things.
• Feeling understood. This can be hard to get from reality. And something as simple as this is powerful.

Self-shipping gets a bad rap probably because of those who participate in less healthy ways. But too much of anything is bad. Everything comes down to moderation whether that’s substances, hobbies, technology, or work. If used mindfully, self-shipping can be constructive. Just like anything, it’s about being in control and not being controlled by it.